Epiphany

- a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.


I dont want to go down the miserable blogging route, so I dont want to ramble too much on this. I came across this word today, and incidentally over the past week I feel that I am converging to the solution to the problem 'What after your masters?'. Kabu is considering a PhD, and that has got me thinking. Not to do a PhD, but about what I want to do after I finish my masters. Unlike Kabu, I dont have any hots for the academics and I fancy industry more. But the more important question is whether I want to head back home or not. I have realized that I dont want to be in a place where going to a cinema hall, eating out or driving a car is a luxury. I dont want to talk about life's little pleasures in the past or future tense. And I havent even started talking abt the people I love back there. But I dont know if friends would still be around. The scene is completely different now. But family would be so much happier with me around. And Im not gonna be sitting on a goldmine here either. I have had so much fun during my 3 years in Bangalore, that the place is drawing me towards it. I think I will find joy there, no matter what. Which means I have lesser time to see Europe. More frequent trips. Sounds exciting.

Schloss Nymphemburg

 

I love this photo, something eerie yet surreal about it.

Kindly, happily, lovingly....

Yesterday two things happened that has not left my mind. Both completely different, but both very beautiful. I was leaving the counter after paying for the daily supplies in Lidl, when the person in front of me, who was packing his items, dropped a bottle of nescafe. Before he could finish cursing himself, the cashier ( who was pretty, which goes without saying from here on ), rushed to the spot and cleared the glass pieces and the coffee. And in a jiffy, she went to the coffee section and brought back a new jar of Nescafe, and handed it to the 'now relieved and much happier' man. This was an example of the kindness and politeness of the people here, and though we are used to this now, Ketan and I couldnt resist discussing how the situation would have unfolded if the same thing had happened in India. The greetings to strangers when you enter or leave lifts, the pleasant smiles and sweet 'Halo', 'Bitte schön' or 'Schön Abend' s , always brightens my mood, and is something really remarkable about this place.

The second incident involved a couple, who were fighting in the U-Bahn station. The guy was very loud, and though I didnt understand anything, it was clear that they were having a heated argument. They get into the same compartment as mine, take their places, but dont utter a word. They get off at the next station, and the guy puts his hand forward towards her. She pauses for a second, then holds his hand and they smile. And I couldnt help smiling either. Sometimes I dont understand love, but for me, what I saw, was just lovely.

There is no room for any negative thoughts here. There is too much love and happiness in the air. This space will concentrate on 'feel good' thoughts. I feel very happy nowadays. I think it is because of the summer, and the sunshine, hotness ( pun intended ) , beautiful people (including my friends) and all the games I am playing. Time to change the background color.

Lets try this again...

Its been real long since I wrote my introduction blog. It still seems a little out of my league to sit down and pen my thoughts. I was just reading a good friends blog, and wondered to myself, 'Why dont I do this more often?'. I mean write, not read. Sometimes I feel that my mind is so fucked up, that there is no way I can let others have a sneak peek into it. What the hell, I am going to do this.

It has been an eventful period since touchdown Deutchland. Leaving my people behind and coming to this distant land sure did affect me. And before I left I thought I wasnt going to feel the pinch, as I dont fancy people anyway. I took some time to feel in place and come to grips with what I have lost. I wasted a lot of time thinking the 'What if' scenarios. I hate that confused state and I needed to tell myself that the decision cannot be reversed. I think as of now I am pretty content with where I stand, and though I have spent a lot of time overthinking, I have also ensured that I do not let go of the opportunities I came here for. Moreover, I have a lot of things to look forward to , so the future looks bright.

I have improved my swimming have become more comfortable with the water. I have been playing a lot of football, tennis, badminton, and cricket. I have always enjoyed sport more than anything else, and playing always frees me from all thoughts. Something I didnt get enough of in Bangalore, and tennis for an hour a week just wasnt enough.

I have found so much time for my guitar. Its incredible how playing music just lifts me. And I am very glad that I am making great progress with my music. Barre chords dont intimidate me anymore.

Now what I have actually come here for. My higher education. Must say much knowledge has been gained. And I have performed pretty well in my exams without sacrificing too much. If only I could concentrate better in class. Nonetheless, this area is being taken care of, without too much trouble. And Ive picked up the German language basics too. Fun.

Travel - main motivation to come to Europe, has been so far so good. Salzburg, Prague, Schwarzwald have been covered. Much more is to come, and is something I really am looking forward to. Now its double the fun with my new found passion for photography and my new DSLR.

Passion for sports, music and travel is undying for me, wherever I am. But the fickleness, the confusion is always with people, with relationships. Who do you really miss, who do you really love, who do you want around you and whose being there or not there makes a difference. I wish I could love everyone more or less equally, I wish I didnt hate some people for no real fault of theirs. Sometimes I wish I could disconnect myself from all emotions, all attachments. Sometimes I crave for those conversations, those words of love, friendship to make my day. Am I really heartless ( which is what I want to be) or is it a cloak that I hide in?

All these are excerpts from the talk inside my head. BS. What is important is that the people who matter the most to me, are all thousands of miles away, but are still around and still very close to me. All this time away, has helped me learn more about myself than anything else. And Im in a place where most people would dream to come to. I couldnt have asked for better roommates, my partners in some-serious-some-nonsense-talk, play, food and study. If it wasnt for them, I can see myself going down the loner route. Moreover, with all the above mentioned things going for me, there are enough reasons to be happy. The philosophy to go by is - People will come and go, so will money, so make best use of the time you have where you are. I think Im on the right track.

Here I am..this is me..

My first blog !!!! I never thought I would be doing this , but suddenly I find my mind all bloated with thoughts, that I just want to vent out. My mind is usually a safe haven for all my musings, and I have always felt that they are best left there. But just feel I could use some breathing space in there. No more talking to yourself !!! Ok , at least cut down :) . And since I am in a new world now, there would be lots of interesting things I do ( at least I hope so) or come across that even my otherwise sharp memory would be unable to retain. I signed into twitter too today but got the feeling that the space there would be too crowded. I kinda like the idea of sitting down with my laptop, coffee in hand on a cold night and easing out the overflowing thoughts in my head. As of now, the one-liners on twitter do not attract me. Lets see how I treat this space.