Its been real long since I wrote my introduction blog. It still seems a little out of my league to sit down and pen my thoughts. I was just reading a good friends blog, and wondered to myself, 'Why dont I do this more often?'. I mean write, not read. Sometimes I feel that my mind is so fucked up, that there is no way I can let others have a sneak peek into it. What the hell, I am going to do this.
It has been an eventful period since touchdown Deutchland. Leaving my people behind and coming to this distant land sure did affect me. And before I left I thought I wasnt going to feel the pinch, as I dont fancy people anyway. I took some time to feel in place and come to grips with what I have lost. I wasted a lot of time thinking the 'What if' scenarios. I hate that confused state and I needed to tell myself that the decision cannot be reversed. I think as of now I am pretty content with where I stand, and though I have spent a lot of time overthinking, I have also ensured that I do not let go of the opportunities I came here for. Moreover, I have a lot of things to look forward to , so the future looks bright.
I have improved my swimming have become more comfortable with the water. I have been playing a lot of football, tennis, badminton, and cricket. I have always enjoyed sport more than anything else, and playing always frees me from all thoughts. Something I didnt get enough of in Bangalore, and tennis for an hour a week just wasnt enough.
I have found so much time for my guitar. Its incredible how playing music just lifts me. And I am very glad that I am making great progress with my music. Barre chords dont intimidate me anymore.
Now what I have actually come here for. My higher education. Must say much knowledge has been gained. And I have performed pretty well in my exams without sacrificing too much. If only I could concentrate better in class. Nonetheless, this area is being taken care of, without too much trouble. And Ive picked up the German language basics too. Fun.
Travel - main motivation to come to Europe, has been so far so good. Salzburg, Prague, Schwarzwald have been covered. Much more is to come, and is something I really am looking forward to. Now its double the fun with my new found passion for photography and my new DSLR.
Passion for sports, music and travel is undying for me, wherever I am. But the fickleness, the confusion is always with people, with relationships. Who do you really miss, who do you really love, who do you want around you and whose being there or not there makes a difference. I wish I could love everyone more or less equally, I wish I didnt hate some people for no real fault of theirs. Sometimes I wish I could disconnect myself from all emotions, all attachments. Sometimes I crave for those conversations, those words of love, friendship to make my day. Am I really heartless ( which is what I want to be) or is it a cloak that I hide in?
All these are excerpts from the talk inside my head. BS. What is important is that the people who matter the most to me, are all thousands of miles away, but are still around and still very close to me. All this time away, has helped me learn more about myself than anything else. And Im in a place where most people would dream to come to. I couldnt have asked for better roommates, my partners in some-serious-some-nonsense-talk, play, food and study. If it wasnt for them, I can see myself going down the loner route. Moreover, with all the above mentioned things going for me, there are enough reasons to be happy. The philosophy to go by is - People will come and go, so will money, so make best use of the time you have where you are. I think Im on the right track.
